My dad/boss sent me this email a few days back just for laughs. Or maybe he was hinting something? bwahahaha. For this week’s 13 on Thursday, I’ve gathered the 13 funniest and actual quotes taken from an employee performance appraisal.

1. “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other
   one.”
2. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
3. “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
4. “It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”
5. “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
6. “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead”
7. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
8. “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
   definite won’t be.”
9. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
   achieve them.”
10. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
11. “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.”
12. “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
13. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has
    started to dig.”

Read other Thirteener’s Here